An Honest Take on Hoesik: Confessions of an Office Worker Who Doesn't Drink
Hoesik — the after-work team dinners that are a fixture of Korean office life — is basically an extension of the workday. At least that's how I saw it during my career. Which is exactly why, especially in my early years, it was so hard to say no, and honestly, plenty of those nights were pure torture. These days I have enough seniority to pick and choose, but hoesik is still something I have mixed feelings about.
First, a confession: I don't like drinking. That part, I'm fairly sure, is true.
Hoesik is on the decline
When I was a junior employee, every single evening of a business trip meant a team dinner. Not anymore. What's left is mostly the occasional department-wide dinner; the nightly parade of drinks has noticeably thinned out. (Although, of course, the senior folks still…)
Every now and then I hear stories like this: junior colleagues who announced they wouldn't be joining the team dinner and headed home were later spotted (?) gathering on their own for a meal, or picking up food to take with them.
As for me, if I don't feel like eating with the group, I can just say so and that's that. But for younger colleagues, saying it out loud may still be hard. I figure I should understand where they're coming from.
The hours that drinking stretches out
For someone who doesn't drink, the thing I resent losing most is time. The meal itself is over quickly, but the drinking drags the evening out endlessly.
If you sit quietly through those long hours and listen, the conversation is almost always one of three things:
- "Back in my day…" stories
- Bragging
- Talking trash about whoever isn't there
Sitting there listening to that is the hardest part for me.
What got better after COVID
Still, some things have clearly improved since the pandemic.
- There are far fewer team dinners overall.
- The custom of passing your shot glass around has dropped off sharply. Some people still do it, but now a simple "Just pour it in my own glass, please" lets you sidestep it without any awkwardness.
- Fewer people dip their own spoon or chopsticks into shared dishes.
That third one is an especially welcome change for me. I have a weak stomach when it comes to that sort of thing — the moment I see someone plunge their own spoon into a shared dish mid-meal, that dish is over for me.
The person who cuts the tofu in half
And there's one scene I still genuinely do not understand.
When tofu shows up as a side dish, there's always someone who uses their chopsticks to cut a piece in half before taking it. You could just take a whole piece — so why go to the trouble of halving it?
Is it meant to be considerate?
These are my very personal thoughts on team dinners. If any of it rings true, give me a nod; if not, just read it lightly and move on.